So it's pretty much like the description says, this is a place for me to document. To document success and failures that I have with the opposite gender.
So here's a little bit of background as to why I'm doing this. First off, no I am not doing this for some kind of school assignment or whatever. That, frankly, would be stupid. I'd never share such personal experiences with a teacher. (And, yes, I am planning on making this a private blog in the very very near future.)
I have never been a good, shall we say, socialite. I keep to myself. If I do end up telling something to my best friend, who also happens to be my sister, then chances are I've probably been thinking about whatever it is for three or four days.
I keep to myself, a LOT. And I know that I need to break that before I even think about getting into a relationship. Even if at first that relationship is just that of a date. I have to master this before I can even think about potential marriage candidates.
I don't trust people. Let me rephrase that. Because of stupid things that have happened it's hard for me to trust. It's hard for me to trust new co-workers. Yes, it is important to trust my co-workers since I work with children, but come on, that should be simple. Right?
Anyways, trust is hard. It's definitely easier for me to trust females. (Sorry guys.) But that's how things are for me. Working at a childcare center where there's a total of two, yes, only 2, male workers does not help this at all.
So, the big things that I will be working on shall be:
1: Opening my mouth and actually saying something, even if it's totally stupid, I stutter, and/or embarass myself.
2: Trusting in the simplest circumstances. Even if it's something as silly as asking someone to watch my bag while I run to the loo. (Yep, I just said that.)
Naturally, I will develop more specific, smaller, simpler, and easier to obtain goals in the near future. But let's face it, it's taken most of my guts just to start this blog. Why go into overdrive in one night?
Be looking out for those goals, they shall be coming soon. And this blog will be going PRIVATE. (P.S. When I do record experiences, they will be generalized. No specifics, no names. Unless of course I embarass myself, with no help from the opposite gender. Then I will post the entire stupid and ridiculous story of the event.)
And oh yeah, advice is welcome. But don't criticize. I know this is a lame way for me to gain self-confidence and social skills. But what better way to do it than to have the stories of my successes and failures at the finger tips of the people whose opinions I value most, right? I know you've got a clue about this whole social life and dating game, that's why I'm letting you follow my blog once it goes private!
Oh Denali. I think you're great! I think I know a lot of how you feel. Until I went to college I thought I was (for lack of a better word) "Boy Retarded." I'm 27 and I still feel the same way that I did when I was 18. The thing is, I've learned that I don't have to be an eloquent, ultra flirty, girl. I can be me. Lots of people like me, even though I call my date Conan, or a boy takes me to a haunted house that doesn't exist and doesn't kiss my face or that the only boy I've ever kissed was my gay best friend. Those things make me, well ME! And there's nothing wrong with that. As far as the trust thing goes, it's hard when you've been burned to learn to trust again. Start by trusting the kiddos at work. Kids are great because they're honest and forgiving. And when some great guy comes around you'll have TONS of practice. If I had one regret it would be that I stopped fixating on what was wrong with me, why wasn't I married and lived life! I wish I was less consumed with boy drama and traveled more, learned new things and helped people and improved myself. I'm trying to do that now and I feel so lucky to have this opportunity to be so focused on making me who Heavenly Father wants me to be. Besides "You don't need scores of suitors, you only need one, if he's the right one" Little Women. And He'll come, when the time is right. (Sorry this has turned into a novel. haha) Love ya!
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